Lost....

Between the spaces, where the soul wander in its wild-goose chase for the moments of happiness.

In a tug of war between the mind and the heart, to believe all of it or none of it.

At that place which the heart once inferred as home.

In the dilemma to accept everything as it is or strive to breakthrough. Atleast once.

While searching water by chasing the mirage and leaving behind those who love unconditionally no matter what.

While yearning for the warmth and love of mother’s hug and father’s care.

In those lonely sleepless nights, when there is no one to calm the restless mind and put to sleep.

In the attempts to love and hold on to someone who doesn’t even care.

 

Time brings roses :)

The life we write on the moments borrowed from each other;

I bury them safely deep in my soul.

So that when the time brings with it some more such roses;

Of varied beautiful colors along with some more smiling faces,

And still;

If my heart craves for more,

I can relive these moments a hundred thousand times;

With the gleaming eyes seeing through the peep hole of my soul;

And thinking:

This is where it all started.

The beginning of a beautiful forever :)

Fiction...

That vital part of me that completes me, All of me, None of me, Full of me yet void of me. You.

Naive. Foolish. Stupid. Us. We think we can forget and live on. Breath on. Go on. Inane idiots. We.

We thought we could rewrite history. In a better way. And alter happily ever afters. In some other world. In some other ways. Imperfect, young, silly us.

The days turn to months and the years pass on. The memories remain right there. To return time and again. And hit and knock us down. When one least expect it. Like beautiful sea which brings Tsunami.

That feeling of being perfectly right and then realizing, not so much.

That smile and laughter which no more comes with the same ease. Yet, we do because we know no other way. To exist. To live. To be.

The stories. Vague. Happy. Tragic. Perfect. Incomplete. The marvel, how can I love them when they are not real. The characters I fall in love with when I read. The excitement to narrate it and the way I want to change or end the story. My world. Our world. A bit strange now. Like I never knew it before the way I see it now. Alone.

The thunderstorm. The rains. The dreams. The nightmares. Prayers that are answered instantly and the only one which wasn't. For worse. For better. We will never know. Or we will feign indifference even if we do. 

The incomplete half of us. Less of you more of me. Worst of you best of me. Trapped together. To remain. No matter where we go or what we do. Beautiful yet unaccomplished.

The bright twinkling eyes replaced by new lights. Overpowering shadows.of endless tomorrows and not-so-forgetful yesterdays. Still pulling the heartstrings like the longing for home. Always.

The futile efforts to not remember that the world we read about existed. Ever. Though in our mind. Though for a while.

And  in some parallel universe we exist. Where we are the world we created and lived in. Forever. 

Because who the hell knows how long the forever lasts! 

Faith and Trust and Pixie dust.

"I don't think that we're meant to understand it all the time. I think that sometimes we just have to have faith." - Nicholas Sparks, A Walk to Remember.

Fear. Of not knowing. Of not comprehending. Of not being sure. Of us.

Numbness. Of uncertainty. Of irreversible decisions. Of tomorrows. Of confusions. 

Anxiety. Of leaving the known. Of accepting the unfamiliar. Of pressure to fit in. Of insecurities. Of the unwanted solitary feeling.

Realization. Of the immensity of the choices made. Of the gravity, of the twists and turns life is going to take. Of the patience it demands. Of having to face life alone. For the first time.

Hopes. Of being fine. Of the tranquil tomorrows. Of contentment. Of perfectly bright days and fairy lights. Of undefiled love. Smiles. And laughter. Of  blending in. Easily.

Faith. That though I can't put my prayers into words he will listen through my heart. That he will answer.  In time. Forever and always. That he will fix everything broken and incomprehensible. That he is and will always be there for me.

A Handful Of Hope

Don't assure me that everything will be okay;

Tell me it's fine if you had cried.

Don't tell me that it's important to win;

Tell me it's good that you tried.

Let me know that sometimes you too feel;

That your world is falling apart and it's no big deal.

Don't tell me fight hard or else you will fail;

Tell me it requires a little more effort and you will sail.

Give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light;

Instead of pointing if I am doing wrong or right.

Don't tell me why and how I went astray;

Tell me you will reach your destination even if you stray.

Don't tell me future is tough and hard;

And dare not teach me how to play my cards.

Let me fall and rise and learn;

For all that is ever, in my small life, I can earn.

Believe :)

Laughter turn to smile,

as the time flies.

And Your widespread wings,

this time gradually tie.

Hopes turn to dreams,

hushed in corner of hearts.

As the bright day ends,

and the night starts.

The light at the end of the tunnel,

seems so far and dim.

And the silent tears,

don't even let you scream.

Seek him,

in that moment of despair.

He is with you,

though you can see him nowhere.

It seems,

not much for you he cares.

But every bit of your pain,

with you he shares.

He gives you reason to smile,

and makes you strong.

He is mending your wings,

so that you can fly for long.

He will nourish your dreams,

enough to turn them real.

He will end the night,

to mark beautiful day's arrival.

He will guide you on your journey,

with that little light.

He doesn't let you scream,

to prove that you can fight.

So believe that he IS,

with you in all ways.

And listen with all your heart,

everything that he says.

Where life resides

The cancelled plans and forgotten friends.

The hopeful beginnings and beautiful ends.

The fork in the path and the road you chose.

The treasures you gain and those you lose.

That is where the life resides.

The longing and the wait, the hope and the prayers.

The end of missing someone and long awaited reunions.

The exhilaration of win, the gratitude and the tears.

The guilt of sin, the insecurities and the fears.

That is where the life resides.

The timeless beauties of our lives.

The fruits of hard work that timely ripe.

The priceless trust and a few lies.

The foolish steps and some decisions wise.

That is where the life resides.

The lowest lows and highs so high.

Being on the ground and still touching the sky.

The brimming emotions that silently dies,

And those which are expressed without the voice.

That is where the life resides.

The lovely melody and hateful noise.

The nameless anxiety and peaceful poise.

The depth of the ocean and contentment of shore.

The things we never said and those our eyes spoke.

That is where the life resides.

The places we went and territories unseen.

And those where in our dreams,

numerous times we have been.

The people we saw daily and suddenly left behind,

And those strangers who with our life will be twined.

That is where the life resides.

Some words unsaid

Somebody told me "write what you feel because more than the words, it’s the feeling that connects." We often collide with the lives of people in the middle of their stories and wish to say a lot, assure them that come what may, life is beautiful and hold in its hands magical moments yet to come. I wish I could reach the darkest corner of people’s heart and may be once in a while leave a spark of light there.

I want to tell a teenager girl that there are always second chances in love and third and fourth. It’s not confined to your definition of love. It’s boundless and limitless and returns to you in every form and shape

I want to tell a woman facing mid-life crisis to relax a bit. I know it’s easier said than done. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, but your life will not remain directionless forever. Soon you will find your way and these chaos are always meant to end. And, it's rightly said in Winnie the Pooh "You are BRAVER than you believe STRONGER than you seem & SMARTER than you think"

I want to tell a working woman to stop questioning if you are a good wife or a mother. You ARE and always will be. At the end of the day what matters the most is not the number of hours you spend with your family, but the unconditional love you shower on them by being the friend, philosopher, guide, critic, and the backbone of the family. You are truly a hero and master of all trades!

I want to tell the mother of a newly wedded daughter to stop worrying about how she will adjust to the new world. She is your daughter and she will make you proud. Stop shedding those tears. Though she is far from you and mixed emotions are welling up inside her too, she will come back to you, time and again to share her happiness and petty problems. She will always remain your little daughter.

I want to tell to a mother who has just gone through the pain of giving birth to a daughter. I know while you keep on looking to her angelic face and her twinkling eyes as bright as her future, the reason behind your tears is your guilt for all the instances you answered back to your mother or didn't tell her enough that how much you love her. Go and apologize to her and tell her you love her very much. It’s never too late to tell someone "I love you"

I want to tell a grandmother that it’s the power of love that you share that binds the family together. No matter whatever changes time brings along you will always be the soul and the heart of the family because you created and nurtured it with your love and care.

I pray you find your silver lining soon if the dark clouds hover above you, May you find some magical pixie dust in the moment of despair and May you never forget that you don’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.

“I am fated to journey hand in hand with my strange heroes and to survey the surging immensity of life, to survey it through the laughter that all can see and through the tears unseen and unknown by anyone.” ~Nikolai Gogol

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A walk by faith

With all the little stars shining in my eyes;

I expectantly gaze towards the skies.

The moon is alluring pure and bright;

And the wind is blowing softly slight.

I wonder if I will ever get to know;

That this way is the right direction to go?

I wonder if it is acceptable to all;

Even if like me, they don't know their inner call!

I wonder what if on the way I get lost;

What if the whole lifelong it will cost?

What if I will never find my way?

What if my dreams will keep me at bay?

What if I will never know what it feels;

When a spellbinding world, the true love reveals.

I wonder will these winds of time;

Take me ever to my silver line?

Then about all those times I think;

When I thought my boat is about to sink.

How you, in time, took me to the shore;

And loved me, selflessly to the core.

How you guided me, on every crossroad;

And relieved me of, every burdening load.

My doubts and anxiety all together cease,

I feel so light and so much at peace.